i’ve come to the realisation that…

i’ve come to the realisation that…

This is something I’ve been thinking about for quite a while…

I’m not a typical blogger.

To be fair none of us are, lol.

I used to get so frustrated with myself because I wasn’t posting the type of things that got a lot of views aka. all the topics really popular bloggers were writing about. So like two weeks ago I sat down with myself and I said,

Also just a disclaimer: I call myself names a crap load of names, they are not words everyone would deem as ‘nice’ and it’s always been and always will be out of love for myself. Also I talk to myself and then lecture myself from other people’s POV’s and I can’t word things correctly at all lol, so I hope the next bit isn’t to confusing. Anyway… I sat down with myself and said,

“Listen hoe, you need to come to the realisation that you are never going to be like X, Y and Z. We both know you don’t care enough about fashion to be a fashion blogger and you can’t even put on mascara without poking your eye out so beauty blogging is out of the question. And will be for a very long time. You get so angry with yourself because you’re not ‘like’ them. Lol, bruv, have you met you you’re not like anyone, you’re like the cutest weirdo ever. There isn’t a single post on my blog that I regret posting, and I can proudly say that I am damn proud of every single post I’ve ever bloody written. You are never going to be like them. The truth is, I don’t want you to be. I want you to post about the randomest things that you feel like ranting about and use all the big words you’ve learnt and talk about things that I care about. But you’re a damn good writer, and a pretty awesome blogger too, and you’ve become friends with the some of the most incredible people on the planet. They know you.

The real you. And they accept you. For the weird, crazy, bubbly, loud-mouthed, strange, lover of big words and cheesecake of a person you are.

Best believe, that’s not changing for anyone.

xxxChips

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GET TO KNOW ME ||Q&A|| REFLECT WITH ME

GET TO KNOW ME ||Q&A|| REFLECT WITH ME

I’ve been feeling so inspired lately!

giphy-downsized

You can find out why here

Recently I realised that you all know a lot about me but at the same time you don’t.
(Lol,I’m an actual walking contradiction), which is why I decided to do a Get To Know Me, Q&A and Reflect with Me all in one gigantic organised mess of a post.
So this is one of the posts I’m most proud of and I’ve had so much fun doing this and I hope you love it as much as I do.
Dedicated to:
My husband( Cheesecake)
(Claire laughs because she saw the cheesecake dedication coming from a mile away and everyone else just shakes the head and smiles because they’ve gotten used to the level of crazy I’m at)
& Brianna (because our Twitter messages complete me and I love youuu and cheesecake plans before we get old are coming soon and I want to write A-Levels because I’m extra. Love you my beautiful❤️)
& Claire (I love youuuuuuuu so much, thank you for the endless support and emails and love and just everything!! I was going to put a giant emoji but they don’t look big on WordPress so this was the best I could do❤️. Love you loads beautiful)
Also I would highly recommend getting yourself some cake while reading this or coffee but I’ve banned all of you from eating cheesecake; you have to ask me first.
Yes, that was a joke. I would never deprive anyone of the most basic need:cheesecake.
However, I would like to state before we begin that nobody is allowed to marry Cheesecake apart from me. Once again I’m joking, just sleep with one eye open, in case of ‘accidents’…
Also this is like the longest post I’ve written EVER! And I’m hella proud of this one, and I’ve said that already but hopefully my weak attempts at humor actually make you laugh.

I'm most proud of...
Finding the courage to let go of a toxic person in my life, becoming confident in myself and finally feeling confident enough in my writing to call myself a writer. (Claire was like 99.9% responsible for this! PS:I love you)

Who inspires you

This is literally going to turn into the post I wrote a while back about how much Claire has changed my life. Claire’s been such an inspiration to me from day one. She’s my writing buddy and my role model and best friend all at once! She’s encouraged me to chase my dreams and her writing is beyond sensational. Plus she makes me grin so much that my face hurts and laugh bucketloads.

Priorites atm

I’m focusing on being happy. Manifesting. Achieving. Dreaming. It took 1 chapter of an incredible book to send me into this burst of happiness that I feel might be everlasting. I’m beyond inspired, beyond excited and I’m so ready for my dreams to become reality!

My legacy

I want to inspire people. That’s all I want. I want to give people the push they need to go for it, to achieve their dreams. I want to make people happy and make people laugh but I want to be a reminder, to all the little girls and boys who feel broken beyond repair, because I’ve been there and I’m not afraid to admit that sometimes I still feel that way but I’ve realised just how incredible I am. I’ve realised that yes, parts of me are broken but broken things can still be beautiful. And you are beautiful and kind and deserving and badass all at once and anytime something I write makes you smile or laugh or feel happy; that’s everything and more to me.
I want to remind you all that my tweets,DMs, email is ALWAYS open for anyone who wants to talk. Like I’m for real can we please have a two-hour conversation about the day I got married to cheesecake. You are not alone. I’ll always be right there, ready to send countless memes and cheesecake references and give advice and listen. I’ll always be here for you, DON’T EVER FORGET THAT!
I love you. And I hope that someday, if you don’t right now, love yourself too.
I know this sounds super weird but I really really want to talk to more of you, like your comments literally make my day and the bloggers that I’ve talked to on Twitter so far, like I’m literally clapping for you, you make me laugh so hard and my favourite potato almost made me die from it, btw I love you if you’re reading this.
All my socials are at the end of this post for those of you who wanna chat xx

which animal would be most terrifying if it could speak

Like, I literally didn’t even have to think about this one, the answer is cats. Like I can’t see one without having heart failure and jumping onto the back of the nearest person there is *viewers read this and finally understand what Chips meant when she told the story of being dropped into a thorn-bush*
Hence my almost-death, the really cute picture from that night is onmy Instagram it’s the one with me and one of my best friends and we’re both wearing black, and glow in the dark Mickey Mouse type ears and our tongues are out and it’s literally my favourite photo ever, that was one of the best nights of my life with my best friend and that alone made it incredible!
Okay, apart from you now knowing about how I was dropped into a thorn-bush, I want you to know I will not hesitate to tackle you in an attempt to get to safety if I see a cat.
BEWARE OF THIS: Kids, make sure to buy yourself one of this American Football type helmets-you don’t think you need it now-trust me you will.
Disclaimer: Lol, but like for real I’m not even kidding if you’re ever walking with me somewhere, please just put your safety first, I’ll leave some links to American Football helmets down below for those of you who would like to live a long -concussion-from-tackling-due-to-cat-attack free life.

what am i avoiding coz of fear

Cats.
what do you wish to do more of
Eat cheesecake.
Like guys, I’m serious. I actually need help, please send cheesecake though, that’s all the help I need.
Pfft I don’t have an obsession with cake *she says in an incredibly high voice*
I’m actually being serious here, if you’re not buying me cheesecake we can’t be friends.
Lol I’m totally kidding but if you send me cake emojis that totally counts,my best friend ‘bought’ me three ice-creams coz there was none at home like can we please just take a moment to appreciate #actualfriendshipgoals

have you ever taken karate

I took it for like a week when I was in grade 2 but I stopped a week after I realised I wouldn’t be chopping wood with my hands anytime soon, that was literally all I was there for, like I’m not even joking. Dudes but for real I’m an actual joke, lol but you a hot joke, true*Chips smirks and her mouth drops when she realises the world know knows what her conversations with herself are like, a combination of calling herself a joke and justifying it with her ‘hotness’ but for real I’m a sax, lol who am I?
Like I’m sorry I actually need to stop this question here because you cannot even begin to imagine the bit after that, which I left out for a very important reason, before you run away because you’ve realised I’m an actual weirdo, I promise I begin to appear more normal as this post goes on..
Brain: You do realise everyone knows the last sentence was an absolute lie?
Me: Shut up you pretzel!

can you whistle

I’ve been trying since the day I was born and I still flop miserably at it. Warning: In no way should you attempt to ask Chips to whistle if you don’t want to end up covered in spit.
Lol, I lowkey just realised I’ve been talking in second?third? person. This is how you know what her English marks are like on her school report; she doesn’t even know the difference between second and third person. Send a tutor, jk, I’ll be fine with just cake.

book i always reread

 I put more than one because these are my favourite books of all time, excluding like two books, Tigerlily- because I’m too scared to read it again coz it was sad, beautiful, tragic all up in one book( lol, Swifties got that reference) and Girl, Interrupted-because whilst the movie is my favourite movie in the /entire universe/world/ever/there is nothing better/I’m an actual joke/ bruv *looks at herself in the mirror disapprovingly* lol you thought it ended there *…calls herself gorgeous, smiles, and thinks about how much of a joke she is. A joke. But a hot joke.*

  • Okay what I was trying to say is whilst Girl, Interrupted is my favourite movie ever, I haven’t gotten to read the book yet because my local bookstores don’t love me or have it.

The Perks of being a Wallflower
The Catcher in the Rye
Milk and Honey
Stuff I’ve Been Feeling Lately

biggest fear

To be forgotten by a person I could never forget.

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So, firstly I’m 13 that translates to I’m broke af, I don’t have money. I’m 13, I don’t have a job, and I may or may not have spent the last money I had on 5 boxes of cheesecake. But if I had money I would give some of it to charity, because obviously I still need to buy like sweets and popcorn and cheesecake but apart from those basic necessities I would give the rest of the money to charity.

religion

Atheist.

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Love is Trust.

hardest thing to tell people

That I used to self-harm. Simply because every time I hear someone close to me self-harms I feel personally responsible, also it hurts me to see how hurt people feel because of it. I’ll leave some links to websites and helpful apps below, for any of you going through anything, my messages are always open x
CALM HARM– App for those struggling with self-harm
ACTIVE MINDS– Website dedicated to students coping with depression etc.
MAKE IT OKAY–  Website dedicated to increasing awareness about depression, mental health, podcasts, resources etc.

zodiac

To quote Lil Wayne, ‘…on my Libra scale I’m weighing sins and forgiveness…’ .

food

I’ve been ranting about this for like the past…however many minutes it took you to read all this an answer is hardly necessary.

best compliment

My friend’s Mum said I should be a model. And I was there like:

breaking dungeons and dragons GIF by Geek & Sundry

And then I was like “Thank you so much ma’am!” because despite the fact that I was dying from all the laughter I had to be polite because my Mum was standing next to me and I have morals. I’m like 1.3 ish meters tall, and because I was curious I Googled calculated it all in my head because I can do math* And that’s like 4’2 and I don’t know how the whole foot measuring system works because lol, I’d have to understand math for that to happen. Anyway… I’m so short I may as well be a turnip! Like it took me 13 years before I was even tall enough to go on the “big kid” rides. I’m the size of a turnip and I could be a model!!!???! Mindblown! 🤯

Lolllll, I’m turnip goals!

jimmy fallon lol GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

*Who does this chick even think she’s fooling?

Lets chat

I hope you enjoyed this incredibly long post! If you liked it feel free to share and leave a comment! This was really different to the normal blog posts I do, so let me know if you’d like to see more posts like this in the future xx

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Infinite X’s and O’s

Chips

13 THINGS IN 13 YEARS|SELF LOVE SERIES

13 THINGS IN 13 YEARS|SELF LOVE SERIES

Heyyy

So this is a post that I’ve been wanting to do for a while, I’ve been doing a lot of self discovery lately and now felt like a good time to do a little advice post😊

1. FITTING IN ISN’T ALWAYS GOOD

As I get older, I’ve been noticing that a lot of people who I used to be close friends with are making choices that I don’t agree with. Being a teenager is hard and right now I’m at a point in my life where I really couldn’t care less about what other people are doing. Seeing a psychologist and getting medication and help for my depression and mood lability has really helped me see that life is worth living. Right now I’m too focused on improving myself and working towards my goals to be caught up in everybody else.Fitting in isn’t always the right thing.

2. TRUST YOUR GUT

I’m going to be straight with you and tell you that over the past 5 years I’ve gotten into a fair amount of trouble, but the truth is that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t taken the chances that I did. Trust yourself.

3.PAVE YOUR OWN PATH

This is something I think almost everyone can relate to. You know what you want and everyone around you has their own ideas about what you should be doing with your life and it can be really difficult if you feel like you’re not being supported. If you have a dream or a goal then don’t let other people determine whether or not you try working towards it.

4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT

I still remember the first day I reached out to my favourite blogger and rolemodel Claire Cramphorn.  It was the first time I’d ever talked to another blogger and it was the best thing I ever could have done for myself. Not only did I do my first collab Girl Talk with Claire but I made a best friend in the process.Don’t be afraid to a) ask for help b) reach out to a blogger you admire or c) market/advertise your blog on social media.

5.MAKE YOURSELF YOUR EVERYTHING

Lately I’ve been thinking about how to some people my life would seem boring. I don’t go out much, I’ve somehow managed to become socially awkward and I prefer being alone. Most of my time is spent blogging, writing or taking photos in my room all whilst dancing to Lil Xan. But after 21 days of self discovery I’ve started loving myself again and I’ve decided to stop finding myself and finding acceptance in others and start loving and accepting myself first.

6.SELF NURTURE IS KEY

I recently learn that there is a big difference between self care and self nurturance. Self care refers to “… any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated.”In other words it’s pretty much hygiene. Self nurturance however refers to the act of loving and taking care of oneself. In short, self nurturance is self-love.  I used to put everybody’s needs above my own and I ended up stressed and unhappy because I had been way to involved with other people’s well-being that I had forgotten to nurture and love myself.

I’ll leave a list of self nurturance ideas below for those of you who are interested.

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7.YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO THROW PUNCHES AND WHEN TO ROLL WITH THEM

So…I’m notorious for being dramatic,having hectic mood swings and anger management issues-a dangerous combination. I also have very strong views on EVERYTHING and I believe things should happen a certain way and 99.9% of the time my way is the best way. I’ve suffered through countless group projects and it’s taught me two things a) group projects suck and b) you need to know when to throw punches and when to roll with them. I am extremely quick to voice my opinion about everything and I genuinely fear for people who get on my bad side. Over the past five years of my life I’ve learnt just how consequential that can be. Over the past year or so I’ve been trying to find the balance between being opinionated and my mood swings, which hasn’t been easy as I get angered quickly but I’m slowly learning that sometimes it’s better to let karma handle things. But be warned if karma doesn’t handle you: I will.

8.PASSION PROJECTS CHANGE EVERYTHING

DID YOU KNOW?

Seventeen Wishes started out as a passion project

Seventeen Wishes started because I was bored. Seventeen Wishes is what it is today because my passion fuelled something so much bigger. Whether it be art, writing, athletics or even blogging finding something your passionate changes your life completely. Trying new things is incredibly important and so is taking a chance on your ‘passion project’ it could change the game completely.

9.GOALS.GOALS.GOALS

Goals are necessary for success and happiness. Ever since I was little I would make lists, to do lists, things that make me happy lists. You name it, I had a list for everything. Setting goals not only helped me to stay motivated but it’s kept me from straying off the path I’ve set for myself. There are times when I’ve seen people on Instagram doing things that I don’t agree with, and just to be clear I’m not saying this to be rude or mean in any way. But the question that has constantly bounced itself around my mind when seeing this is ‘How could this possibly be helping someone achieve their goals?’. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having fun but to me when I see people doing certain things I can’t help but think… ‘Why?’

I strongly believe that if you know the goals you have for yourself you’re a lot less likely to stray off the path of achieving your goals plus there is nothing more satisfying than achieving a goal you’ve worked hard for.

10.EDUCATE YOURSELF

This is one of the most important and rewarding things you can do for yourself. I love learning. I love reading and watching TED TALKS and talking about things that need to be talked about and not shying away from controversy. I feel like it’s one of the main reasons I talk (not in a bad way) and feel older than I am constantly. I’ve been told since I was about 5 years old that I was incredibly mature.When I was 5 my teacher told my mum I had the reading ability of a 16 year old. And it’s literally an integrated part of me. I honestly believe that learning is such an amazing thing and I would not be the person I am today without it.

11.OWN THAT SH*T

I’m going brutally honest with you and tell you that this year my self confidence was at an all time low. I became  more depressed and I isolated myself from everyone and then I stopped talking, to tell you the truth the day I stopped talking was the day I realised that I truly had lost myself these past few months. And I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it magically fixed itself overnight, it took therapy and medication and an unforgettable group of people to gain my confidence back. And you can bet your ass that it’s back for good. Nothing changes if you don’t believe in yourself.

NEWS FLASH!

You are a badass and it’s time for you to own that sh*t!

12.DANCE PARTIES ARE NECESSARY AND SO IS SPOILING YOURSELF

Congratulations on owning that sh*t. I’m proud of you now go dance to your favourite song because I’m proud. You deserve to spoil yourself every once in a while. Go on, turn that Lil Xan song up, we both know you want to.

13.SOMETIMES YOU FIND FAMILY IN THE PEOPLE YOU CALL YOUR FRIENDS

Truth be told, I’ve found family in the people I call my friends. I’ve found family in the blogging community and I’ve found family in my rolemodels. They’ve been there for me for everything and supported me and given me advice and I’m so grateful to have my friends and the people in the blogging community and I’m so grateful that I can call them family because they’ve always treated me like I was.

I hope you enjoyed this post because I had so much fun writing and I did take a dancing break which was extremely fun.

Love you 

“I no longer force things.

What flows, flows

What crashes,crashes

I only have space and energy

for the things that are meant for me”

xxxChips

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DEAR YOUNGER SELF

DEAR YOUNGER SELF

A letter to a little girl before she got help

Dear Chips

I know it’s hard. And I know you feel like giving up but my darling, don’t. I know that you feel like nobody understands you but there will come a time a few months from now when you get the help you need and the help you deserve.

A lot of people will complain about your behaviour and I know for a fact that you really don’t care about it and for that I am truly proud of you because those people are wrong.

And even though you’ve gotten into tons of trouble these past 5 years and you’ve been hurt a lot and you constantly feel like you’re drowning baby girl believe me when I say the things that were keeping you down all this time will not go away. You have the strength and you have always had the strength to fight them off,baby girl believe me when I say your pain will fuel the passion and the fire inside you.

You are the whole damn fire.You will always and always have been nothing but the whole damn fire.

Do not mistake the glint in my eyes for sparks. I am the whole damn fire

-C.R.L

You will meet people who make you sad and you will meet people who make you happy. You will meet an amazing guy and he’s going to be your best friend for a very long time, you’re going to fall in love and it’s going to be one of the best things that’ll ever happen to you. It’s going to teach you how to be humble and patient and kind and have empathy it’s not going to be all smiles but it’s worth it in the end. You’re going to put a guy on a pedestal and after a few years you’re going to realise that you have to be your own everything and you’re going to make that happen.

You will fall in love again, this time with writing and art and that bond you have, I think, is unbreakable. You will become part of a community full of loving, kind people and you’ll get told that your depressing poetry should be in a book.

There will be bucketloads of drama and tears and confusing emotions and despite what people say the choices you make are not stupid or ruining your life in any way because even though you still have a long way to go,today is the happiest you’ve been in months.

You’ve been through so much but you’ve tried and still are today trying to be a rolemodel and despite everything and all the mistakes you make and will continue to make , you are an inspiration and not just to the amazing people who read Seventeen Wishes but to me as well.

To the lost little girl that was me. You are the badassiest,bravest, most beautifully fierce individual in the whole damn world.

Start believing it.

Something will grow through what you are going through and it will be you.

xxxChips

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I AM A BRAIN•POEM

I AM A BRAIN•POEM

I am a brain.

Sometimes you love me for my rational way of thinking

Or when you get an A on the math test you thought you would fail

What you don’t love is when I get in the way of your heart

Because then you know

You’re stuck on this emotional rollercoaster

And there’s no getting off ’till the end

You don’t really understand the way I work

Or why I make you think the things you think

Or why you make you do the things you do

I give you reason to think the things you think

And sometimes you mull it over and you can’t help but think

“What the…?”

But there’s a reason for my madness

My mystery

My expertise

In a field of matters you’re only just beginning

To understand

What is the labyrinth

Is it the pain you feel in life or the escape?

Is it straight and fast? Is that the way out of suffering?

I am a brain.

Complex

Pessimistic

Strange

Assiduous

Sophisticated

Opportunistic

Unrealistic

Brain.

The story behind the poem:

During a therapy session my psychologist placed numerous objects on a table in front of me and asked me to write something from the objects point of view. While writing this I wasn’t me, I was my brain and after I had written my poem, my psychologist asked if I thought this poem was related to my feelings in any way. I said no. She asked me to read it again, aloud and insert my name and personal pronouns where needed.

So I thought I would share this with you because I’ve realised that in the past few months I’ve been underestimating myself.A lot. And after reading this poem a second time I realised that even though my writing is far from perfect I am a talented writer. And writing this has made me realise that now it isn’t just something people say to be nice and it was never just something people said to be nice, it was something they genuinely believed. And now I believe it too.

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Stop stopping yourself.

xxxChips

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Things I’ve Learned in 1 year of blogging🌿

Things I’ve Learned in 1 year of blogging🌿

Heyy everyone

So this is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while and I’ve finally gotten a chance so I proudly present you with:

1.BE YOURSELF

It’s easy to put on a mask.But it takes guts to be yourself. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s that people relate and love honesty.Be yourself.Love yourself.And don’t be afraid to let your freak flag fly.

2.BE GENUINE WHEN REPLYING TO COMMENTS

I didn’t learn this one all on my one. But shortly after reading #Girlboss I started Seventeen Wishes and responding to comments in a genuine way and not getting caught up in seeming a certain way has helped me make friendships with other bloggers and get to learn more about myself and other people. I’ve learnt that people will always love the real you more than a mask🌿💕

3.DON’T BE AFRAID TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE

You’re a blogger.And you should be proud of that! Don’t be afraid to mention your blog or market or share your posts on your social media either.I know it can be frightening but believe me when I say it’ll work out, don’t be afraid to take a chance.

4.DO THE MOST

Blog about the things you love.And things that interest you and don’t be afraid to try something new if you find your current niche no longer works for YOU.

5.DON’T DO IT FOR THE VIEWS

There is nothing wrong with wanting your blog to be successful. But at the end of the day,at least in my opinion,blogging shouldn’t only be about the numbers. Make sure you’re writing for reasons that matter and are important to YOU.

6.GIVE IT YOUR ALL BUT DON’T FORGET TO LOVE YOURSELF

If you decide blogging is for you then I encourage you to try your best. Blogging is full of excitement and endless learning experiences.If at some stage it becomes to much don’t be afraid of taking a break, loving blogging is great but don’t push yourself to the point where you burnout.And even if you do experience burnout, it’s OKAY. Don’t rush the process of taking time to focus on yourself.💕

So that’s it for this post,I hope you enjoyed it ❤️

xxxChips

“Flower child with a rock and roll heart”

I’m back. I think.

I’m back. I think.

Heyy everyone

So tomorrow, would have marked a month since I’d last posted anything. I’m truly sorry for not posting anything for so long but I really couldn’t bring myself to write anything except sad, moody poetry.

A month away from blogging felt like a lot longer than 30 days. And it gave me a lot of time to think, think about myself as an individual and the direction I want Seventeen Wishes to be going in. I didn’t come up with any solutions just a lot of new songs, poetry and mixed emotions.

So I decided to ask you. All of you. What you think, as well as what you like and don’t like about Seventeen Wishes. The things you would like to see more of and the things you don’t enjoy as much.

xxxChips

I don’t care what your mind says

You deserve to be happy

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